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Albi and Bobby

 

Lauren's twins

31.07.2018

Our story began when we found out we was expecting, I didn't feel pregnant at all and I didn't know how far along we was. Could the test be wrong I was questioning myself?! So we booked a private scan.

The lady who done the private scan asked how old my daughter was as she put the Doppler on my tummy. I said 18 months, she told us we was going to have our hands full as we were expecting twins... Wow, I was overwhelmed I didn't know what to think. Would I cope with twins and a 2 year old. It took a while to sink in but once it did I embraced the fact we was lucky enough to be having a journey with twins and how special it was/would be.

A week later we had our hospital dating scan. I lay on the bed as the man was scanning me, he was telling us what everything was and what twin was what and that they wasn't identical twins. Then everyone's worst nightmare: he stood up and said he was going to get a more trained scanner because he couldn't get a measurement off one of the twins. Anybody who has been there will know that your world is about to come crashing down; you hear these things from other unfortunate people but you don't expect it to happen to yourself ever.

I tried to stay calm.

Another lady walked in and said: I don't need to scan you, I can see from the pictures there's something wrong with one of the babies' head. She then went on to say it looked like a form of spina bifida and to not google anything, but I would return in a week to see a consultant.

We went home absolutely devastated we was clueless had no idea what it was or what was going to happen. I had to go online, I couldn't sit for a whole week not having any idea of anything. After lots of research I self diagnosed that one of my babies had anencephaly, a fatal illness that occurs during development meaning the neural cord doesn't join, meaning a skull won't form and he wouldn't live when he comes out my womb.

We returned to the consultant a week later she confirmed it was a correct diagnosis and referred me to the specialists at Liverpool woman's hospital for a week later and he confirmed it again and gave us our options.

At this point I knew we had two baby boys in my tummy who were perfect to me, dancing away all the times we had seen them on scan. Just one had an abnormal head and it was visible on the scan but he had no genetic conditions everything else was perfect.

At this point I was 15 weeks and 3 days. The consultant said we had two options, with it being twins there was risks on both sides so he told me we could either do a selective reduction meaning inject poorly babies perfectly beating heart for it stop and him shrivel up to be born when healthy twin was born. This can only be performed before 16 weeks or after 30 weeks so there was less risk of anything happening to healthy baby. The second option is to carry them both and with poorly baby not being able to swallow in the womb I could carry more fluid which could make me have them premature, or he can pass away in my tummy in which I would carry them until healthy baby is ready to be born.

Without a doubt I choose to carry them both. Everybody's choices are different and everyone would deal with this situation in their own way, but for me feeling him in my tummy and seeing him moving on scan that was my only option. I loved them both as equal as each other and we would hopefully like to meet them both together and make lots of memories in his short little life he's going to have. We decided we want to donate his perfect little organs when he flies to help other poorly babies.

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant I am very strong about this as I have my 20 month old daughter to think of at this moment I do not want to mope around and get myself in a rut, I'm taking each day as it comes, however upset I get it is not going to change anything my only wishes at this point is that he is born alive and we get to meet him and spend time with him and his brother before he grows his wings.

I am regularly monitored, My next appointment will be in 3 weeks where they will scan me again.

Claire house, the donation team and neonatal will come to discuss everything with us. As I'm having a c-section, they will have our plan in place and make sure it runs as smooth as possible for us.

I will continue to update this as much as possible as I have found it very helpful to read other parents stories that are going through the same situation.

Babies still have no names so any ideas would be appreciated thank you. I will be happy to talk to anyone,

 

Last updated August 16, 2018