Stephanie Grace

I am a Christian and a lover of natural health and I know that this isn't everybody's mindset, but this is my story of the birth of my Daughter Stephanie Grace Holston.

I carried my beautiful baby girl for nearly 10 months, Praise God!!
She was my first baby. We found out I was pregnant at the end of October of 2023 and my husband and I were so surprised because we had thought I was infertile, as I had been through so much abuse when young, we thought I couldn't conceive!!
We were so surprised to hear we were pregnant and also excited, but scared. This world is not a safe place for children, and with how I grew up, I was terrified of something happening to our child.
I prayed if it was God's will, to have a beautiful child before I even knew I was pregnant and I was so very blessed!!

I had a wild and freebirth: no doctor visits and a home birth with no one attending, just me and my husband and unmedicated. We were unaware that our baby had anencephally.

The pregnancy went so well and I felt the best I ever did in my life!! I was so happy!!

I had my precious baby girl Stephanie Grace at exactly 43 weeks.

I was in labour for 3 days and it was so excruciatingly painful, I had no idea I could be in so much pain and not die! At 12am on the 6th of August I was struggling to handle to pain, clinging onto my husband David for dear life. I asked him to tell me how much God loves us and His Son. He said God loves us so very much that He gave His only begotten Son to us so that He died to take our sins. That meant so very much to me because I had went through satanic ritual abuse as a child and I knew what pain and suffering was like, yet I had never ever felt the pain like I felt having my baby girl.

I fully surrendered and trusted in God at that moment, thinking "God if I die having my baby, I will die knowing your love". That is when I surrendered and relaxed and my water broke over the toilet with so, so much force!! It scared David and I so much because it was unexpected!
Still, after that moment I struggled to relax in the pain, and the pain increased.

Finally at about 4am I got into the birthing pool hoping that it was the home stretch as I felt like it was time. David was absolutely amazing staying awake for me the whole night before having her and holding my hands (even though it seemed like I'd break them) and repeating "ignore the pain, the pain is baby trying to come out, focus on your breathing". I finally was able to overexagerate breathing so I could redirect my focus, I thought about surrendering myself to Jesus and relaxing my body and being limp in the shoulders, then I was able to relax my jaw.

As soon as I felt her down there I pushed so hard at least 15 times and it took about a half hour.

I had my beautiful girl at 7am on Tuesday the 6th of August 2024.

I could tell something was wrong even as I was pushing her out, because there was resistance and no help and she had no "rebound" as she came out she was limp. When I pulled her out of the water we were both in shock.

We were in such shock that we didn't realize I was at the end part of stage 1 post partum hemorrhage and almost stage 2 where I was about to go into organ failure. The ambulance arrived at about 7:30 and I was still bleeding a bit. I only noticed when I stood up to alleviate the pain of the water on the graze on my left labia that I was lightheaded and definitely did not feel right. We thank God that I survived.

Even though we lost our sweet precious baby we are blessed to know that we will be able to raise her in Heaven, when an angel places our beautiful, precious, baby girl, Stephanie Grace, in our arms again, perfect, never to be seperated by death again!!

We look forward to the Resurrection Day when we are risen to be with Jesus!!

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

I was so very blessed to spend 10 months here with my beautiful girl. I miss her so very much!! I miss having her in my arms and next to me (inside of me).
But the more we reflect on everything we see the blessing in disguise as we are afraid to raise a child up in this world where their eternal fate is unsure and the evil in this world is not diminishing.
I know she is safe, awaiting Jesus and that one day I will be able to raise my baby girl in the most beautiful place ever in Heaven!!

Kelly

Last updated 03.07.2025